Ready or not!
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: So you dstroy my village, and you expect me not to hate you for that? Right, of course. I've learned your jitsu's, perfected them and made them my own! And now I'm coming for ya, blondie. And your life is gonna be a living hell.
1. Chapter 1

I sit high up in my tree, looking around at the damage that idiot blonde made.

I brush my brown hair out my face.

He blew half the village apart.

He maimed my dog.

He destroyed my home.

And he practically killed my best friend, Maya.

Maya is currently hooked up to a bunch of machines to keep her living.

My dog, Blondie, has no tail.

It got blown off.

_'I swear to god, I will find him and maime him'_ I growl. _'He thinks he can get away with this, he'd better think again!' _

When the blonde idiot blew up the village I was 13, and clueless about ninjitsu.

And now, I'm 16 and ready for revenge.

Yells of confusion erupt from the village, mainly about where the scroll went.

_'Would they calm the fuck down?'_ I roll my eyes.

I go deeper into the forest until I come to a forgotten cave, the place I train.

Scorch marks cover the cave.

I enter the cave, sliding the scroll out from under my shirt.

"It took them a few days to figure it out though," I chuckle. "Not the brightest batch, I must say,"

I read the scroll over, memorizing handsigns, blowing the cave to bits... Not literally.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I cheer, finally understanding the whole.

"You better run blondie, cause I'm coming for you!" I dust excess soot and ash off my face and clothes, then head for home.

"Return the scroll... Or not..." I mutter. "I might get caught though..."

People were still frantically moving around, trying to find the scroll.

I toss it into the bushes for them to find, then head home.

* * *

"Here Blondie! C'mere girl!" I kneel and clap my hands.

My pint sized dog comes running over, ears flopping at her sides.

Yeaahhh, I like to exagerwate the size of her HUGE ears!

"Hey girl," I whisper so only she could hear. "You ready for an adventure?"

Blondie yipes on reply.

"I knew you were!"

I can talk to animals, just thought I'd let you know.

"Oh I'm a Goofy Goober yeah! Your a Goofy Goober yeah!" Moto sings.

Ash skips after him, mouthing the words.

Ash(girl) and Moto(boy) are twins. Ash is mute... Sadly.

"Hey Ash! Hey Moto!" I hug them close.

Moto yells his hello, whereas Ash waves, then bows.

"I'm going on a little mission, ok?" I whisper. "But you can't tell anyone!"

"Ok, Alita! You can count on us!" Moto holds up his hand for a high five.

"Good!" I give him a high-five and start getting ready.

I pack extra clothes and all my money into my pack.

Then, I stick a bag of doggy treats in.

I strap my ninja pouch to my left thigh, my pouch of clay to my right thigh.

Three knocks on the side of the wall tell me Ash is in the room.

"Yeah Ash?" I pick her up and kiss her forehead.

She snuggles in under my neck.

"I'll miss you too, hopefully, I'll see you soon!"

Ash makes a sound that was basically a sigh.

_'Don't worry Ash, I'll make sure I come back,_' I think.


	2. Chapter 2

I tuck Blondie under my shirt and pull my brown hair back into a ponytail.

The moon was full and all was silent.

I kiss the twins good bye and position myself on the roof.

"You ready for this, Blondie? There's no turning back!" I say loud enough for her to hear.

I pull a chunk of clay out my pouch and bite into it.

I make sure not to swallow any of it, and do the handsign.

I spit the wad of clay out that was now shaped like a bird, and with a poof, I have a clay bird I could ride.

I hop on it's back and take off into the night, keeping my thoughts off of family and focused on the idiot blonde.

Blondie whines at about the same town my stomach growled annoyingly loud.

"Ok, fine." I sigh. "We'll land."

I land in the outskirts of a small village, starving.

I have the bird fly in the air, high above me.

"Food, food, food, food, food, food..." I mumble, speed-walking through the village. "I need some food..."

I settle for a small ramen shop in the middle of the village.

I let Blondie out my shirt so she could explore, and possibly find me a scent.

I order and twirl around in the seat impatiently.

"C'mon, hurry up and finish." I curse under my breath.

I have to wait another 5 minutes before the ramen is set down in front of me.

"So, what's a little girl like you doing here?" The shop owner makes conversation.

"I'm ninja. I'm on a mission," I say between slurps.

"A ninja?" His eyes settle on the headband around my neck, marking me from Iwa.

"Mhm, have you heard news of a terrorist blonde?" I finish off my noodles.

"Wow, you can eat," The guy takes my bowl. "And no talk of a terrorist bomb."

"Damn."

"You looking for him?"

"Yeah, I'm spose to find him," I mutter. "It's proven to be harder than imagined."

Blondie starts barking like crazy, putting me on high gaurd.

I pay for my food and scan the area.

Nothing.

"Blondie, what's the-"

A huge explosion fills the air, making my ears ring.

I look to the skies, barely managing to make out a clay bird that wasn't mine.

I call mines down, grab Blondie, and take to the skies.

I follow far behind as he sets off bombs every now and then.

Blondie makes her way to my head as I swerve unevenly.

As the blonde leaves the village, he realizes he's being followed.

He glares and whips around(or other way around?) fists clenched.

I glare right back and shove my hand in my pouch.

That's when Spongebob quotes started floating into my mind.

"Thought you could get away with it?" I tease. "Well you made one fatal mistake!"

He gives me a curious look.

"You messed with my paycheck! And I'm gonna report you to the highest authorties of the land: my foot." I smirk.

The blonde gives me a weirded out look, then flies away.

I guess I have that effect on people, but I make sure to follow him.

After 5 minutes of flying, Blondie decieded to bark overly loud.

The blonde turns around, slightly surprised.

I bite a chunk of clay and chew on it while he looks over the situation.

"Why're you following me, un."

"Why are YOU following ME?" I tease.

The chunk of clay was now a set of tiny bats.

I fly higher, out of sight, and spit them out.

_'Yuck. The taste of clay is something I could never get used too!_' I make a yuck face as the blonde follows me higher.

"Hey you, why're you following me?" I tease. "Like what you see?"

"Who are you, un."

"I'm the girl that you keep stalking!" I fly even higher, letting 2 of my bombs flutter below.

The blonde follows with a glare.

"It's too bad you don't remember me, it might've helped you out," I chuckle. "But to bad."

I lunge at him, catching him off gaurd.

He retaliates fast and shoves me off.

I hold on tight to his pants leg as I hang over the side of his bird.

"Baka, hm." He rolls his eyes, pulling out a spider-shaped bomb.

"Hey now! Don't do anything hasty!" I laugh nervously.

He smirks and drops the spider onto my arm. I shreik and start trying to swipe it off, but I let go of him, so now I'm falling through the sky.

I send the last of my bat bombs after him as the spider crawls farther up my arm.

I manage to brush it off and do my handsigns at the same time he deciedes to ignite his bomb.

There's a large explosion as the bombs go off.

Sadly, it makes my desent to the ground even faster.

I let out a shrill scream as the ground is only 20 feet away.

I land with a thump on my bird, knocking the breath out of me.

I gasp for air as the bird goes up again, Blondie soon comes into view, being held by un-detonated bats.

I scoop her up and send the bat-bombs after the blonde.

I smirk smugly as I hear him curse loudly as the bombs go off.

"And this is only the begining Dei-Da-Ra." I chuckle darkly.


	3. Chapter 3

Me and Blondie sit in the forest, under the shelter of a big palm tree.

It had started to rain.

"You think you can still track him through the rain?" I ask Blondie.

**'I can try, but it'd take a bit longer...'**

"Ok, good." I hold the few strands of hair up to her nose.

**'Hmph, he smeels worse than you'**

"Blondie!" I whine.

She chortles in a dog-like way and leads the way through the forest.

It seemed to take twice as long considering the rain.

I was getting soaked to the bone like this, and I'm probably gonna get sick.

Oh well.

We come to a cave-like structure with a big temple-like base.

"Is this the place, Blondie?" I question as the rain starts to let up.

**'If it wasn't the place, why would we stop?'**

"Shut up." I scale the side of the cave-temple and sit on the edge, nearest to the window.

I dip my head to see inside.

I see this really short dude with dreds, a blue-skinned guy with a big sword, and a dude with black-hair and stretch lines on his face.

And then there's Deidara.

I send in 6 bomb-bats, the size of my pinkie.

They exchange some words, Deidara mostly being stubborn.

Saying something about being free and art...

Deidara stops mid-sentence and throws a bird-bomb my way.

I cry out as it gets stuck to my face and I fall to the ground. '

**Idiot'** Blondie teases.

I make my bats stick to Dei as a threat, while the other 3 guys just watch.

"Do you know her?" The blue-skinned guy asks.

"Nope." Deidara shrugs. "She literally just came outta nowhere, un."

He rips one of the bats off.

_'Shit!'_ I tug on the bird, which seemed to be really set on sticking to my face.

I tug frantically at it, not even budging it.

It does however, flutter around and poke me in the eye.

I curse about 5 times in a row and start clawing at the bird despratly.

"And now she's history, un."

I snatch an electrical power line out the wall and shove it deep into the bomb.

I got a pretty bad shock, but at least the bombs difused.

"See ya," I dash out the room, into the forest.

* * *

I spent the past week following this blonde, who is now an Akatsuki member.

He was partnered with that short guy with dreds.

Turns out that's a puppet.

**'Go in for the kill!'** Blondie orders. **'Do it! Right now! Grrr!'**

"Shh!" I shush her and bite into my clay supply, which was half gone by now.

It forms a squirrel and follows Deidara closely.

I heard them saying they were headed back to the "base".

* * *

The base was basically a big stone cave with a seal on it.

A make a few big bombs and fill them to the brim with chakra.

I place them on each corner of the cave and one in the middle.

I get a safe distance away aaand.

BOOM!

"THAT BITCH, UN!" I laugh outloud, Blondie crawling in my lap.

"Deidara, what're you talking about."

A... projection(?) of a guy with spiky hair and swirly eyes.

"There's this girl, hm." Deidara masages his temples. "And she has some serious issues."

"You know we don't allow outside relationships."

"Relationship, un? HA!" Deidara rolls his eyes. "That crazy pshyco bitch has been following me, no matter how many times I blow her up, un!"

I have a snake make it's way to there area.

BOOMM!

The members got blown fairly far apart.

The albino dude starts cursing his head off.

Deidara grits his teeth and scans the area.

I climb high up the tree to get a better look.

Blondie had taken refuge under my shirt, again.

"When I get my hands on her, un..."

"You'll what?" I call out. "Try and blow me up again?"

The 5 members look up to stare at me.

"Hey there!" I wave.

I just get glares all around... And a curious look from hologram-dude.

"Oh and Deidara! I've got a new goal!" I tease.

"I don't care, un!"

"Mmm, I think you do! My new goal is to make your life a LIVING HELL!"

Cue eye twitch.

I jump down and give him an unreadable look.

He goes on high gaurd and glares at me.

"Dei-Da-Ra!" I glomp him to the ground and hold on tight. "HIIIIII!"

"What the fuck? Get off, un!" I sure as hell don't, I can hear snickers from others.

There's a painful slap as a glop of clay lands on my cheek.

I freeze and stare up at Deidara.

"Get. Off, un." He narrows his eyes.

"Heh, ok, but this isn't over." I peel the clay off and go on my way.

But not before leaving a tracking bug in his cloak pocket.

I'm so evil.


	4. Chapter 4

I lay on the roof of the home base.

"Nah, I won't destroy this place." I chuckle. "It's actually very nice."

Blondie nuzzles herself into the crook of my arm and falls asleep.

"If you go out in the village today, your sure to have a suprise. If you go out in the village today, be sure to wear a disguise. The ANBU are coming and they ain't no joke. The freaks barged in and they sure aren't ready to croak. Cause they came through the village to look for more. But all they got was-"

"Alita Takiyama." A voice interupts my lullaby.

"Holy shit!" I snap to my feet, into a fighting stance.

This guy with orange hair and a crap load of piercings was sitting on the edge of the roof.

"Who are you?" I question. "And whaddya want?"

"It's more important who you are," The guy says. "You've mastered forbidden jitsu's, you've managed to stalk one of my members, you've proven yourself sneaky and possibly useful."

"Hmm, that's a word that people don't use on me." I mutter.

"Sneaky?"

"No, useful."

"..."

"So why're you saying all this,"

"I want you to become an Akatsuki member."

There's a stretched out silence as I think about this.

"What'd Deidara do?" I finally say.

"A lot of things."

"Caaan I be his partner?"

"He already has one."

"It can be a three way." I pick up Blondie. "Like I said, my goal in life is to make his life a living hell."

"Hm..." He pauses to think about this.

"You can be his partner... If you cook us dinner."

"Deal!"

"Everyday."

"DOUBLE DEAL!" We shake hands and he let's me into the base.

I hold Blondie close and explore the house.

"What are YOU doing here, un!" Deidara shouts.

"I'm the new member!" I laugh. "And yours and the puppet dudes partner!"

"WHAT!"

"Mmhmm! And I cook your dinner!" I head for the kitchen.

"What... Leader-sama, un!" Deidara stomps off down the hall.

"Haha, he's so cute when he's mad," I laugh quietly.

"Hm?" The shark-dude gives me a toothy grin.

"I-I mean... Um, I meant like..."

"Don't worry, I won't tell him you said that," He assures. "I'm Kisame, new girl."

"Well, shark-dude, I'm Alita!"

"Hey Deidara!" Kisame shoots to his feet. "Alita says-"

"KISAME!" I jump onto his back and cover his mouth.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL!"

"Oh? Did I say that?"

"YES!"

He laughs at my expression, "Ok, I was kidding!"

"What'd that bitch say, un?" Deidara glares.

"She said you looked feminine," Kisame jokes.

"Kisame!" I huff.

Blondie starts barking insanely loud, woken up from her slumber.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE!" This albino dude shouts.

"I'm making dinner!" I shout back.

"Shut that stupid rat-dog up, before I do it for you." This guy with a mask and stitches growls.

I hold Blondie close, "Your not touching Blondie!"

There's an awkward silence.

"Blondie, un?" Deidara's eye twitches.

"Chyeah." I shrug. "What's it to ya blondy?"

"And you call me blondie, un."

"Uh-huh."

"YOU NAMED ME AFTER A STUPID RAT-DOG, UN!"

"SO!"

"IT'S NOT EVEN BLONDE!"

"WHAT'S YOUR POINT?"

"MY POINT IS THAT YOUR CALLING ME A DOG, UN!"

"THAT'S CAUSE YOU ARE ONE!"

"WHAT? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, BITCH UN!"

"YOU HEARD ME!"

And now an all out fight is out exploding.

"Idiots." Leader sighs. "Deidara! Alita!"

We both pause to see what he wants.

"You might be new, but one of the few rules here is DON'T DESTROY THE KITCHEN!" He roars.

"He started it!" I whine. "She started it, un!" Deidara says at the same time.

"Dumbasses."


	5. Chapter 5

"Mornin!" I walk into the kitchen the next day... To be smacked in the face with a pie.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I snap.

Blondie begins licking pie off the floor.

Deidara, Hidan, and Kisame just laugh.

"Mmmkay, who threw it?" I wipe pie out my eyes.

Hidan and Kisame point to Deidara.

"Way to sell out your friend," I roll my eyes, then turn to Deidara. "FUCK YOU!"

I tackle him to the ground, starting yet another fight.

He won this time, pinning me on my back.

"I hate you," I growl, struggling to get free.

"Hate you more, un."

Why did I just realize he was chewing on clay?

Errr... His mouth hand was chewing it... That's actually a pretty good idea.

A clay-spider lands on my face, and I SCREAM.

Mostly cause there's no way to get free this time, or even take the spider off.

I start kicking my feet and failing at getting my arms free.

He gives me a sadistic laugh and kneels on my hands.

"Come on you brats, let's go." Sasori mutters.

"Oh I'd LOVE to go, there's just ONE PROBLEM." I snap. "There's an idiot blonde on top of me!"

Sasori just rolls his eyes.

I whistle really high-pitched, Blondie comes bounding in.

"Blondie! Do something!" I huff as she just stands there.

Blondie leaps up and bites down on Deidara's arm.

He pauses for a moment, then screams a bunch of curse words, trying to shake the dog off.

I finally get free and call Blondie off.

"Woot!" I cheer.

"Let's. Go." Sasori growls.

Me and Deidara ignore him, having a glare off.

I'm suddenly grabbed by my colar(same with Deidara) and being dragged out the room.

"Ergh!" I try and pull away, but not managing much. "Where are we even going?"

Sasori lets us go once outside the base, "Look you brats, this mission is all about silence and skill. The reason your both coming is because Alita's the stalker type and Deidara's needed for transportation. Mess up this mission and I'll kill you both."

I just roll my eyes and cross my arms, "Here Blondie! C'mere girl!"

A sharp bark and Blondie comes running up to me.

"Your bringing that rat-dog, un." Deidara rolls his eye(s?).

"Well yeah, I'm not gonna leave her here." I scoff.

"Leave the dog." Sasori snaps. "It's to loud."

"She is no bother, you guys didn't notice her when I was stalking Deidara." I snap. "Now let's get this mission started."

This earns some glares, but we get moving.

"So who is this guy?"

"I forget his name." Sasori mutters.

"Where's he at?"

"Somewhere near Iwa."

"Really?" I say, maybe a bit to excited.

"Uh-huh."

We walk in silence for awhile, before Blondie jumps out my arms and barks at something.

"What is it?" I ask her, following close behind.

"Is it the guy we're looking for?" Blondie makes a shrugging motion, but chases after it.

I run ninja-fast to keep up, ignoring the two males comments.

"Blondie! Slow down!" I call out. I slam into this guy, knocking us both to the ground.

"Owww..." I mumble, rubbing my head.

"Baka, where'd you go, un?" Deidara pushes his way through the clearing, Sasori following suit.

The guy takes one look at the Akatsuki members, then takes off.

"Was that the guy?" I ask.

Sasori nods stiffly.

"Oh... Ok." I shrug.

"He's probably long gone by now."

"To you he is, to me it's simply a few stalker feet." I hold up the ripped piece of cloth to Blondie's nose. "And you didn't wanna bring the dog."

"Any dog can track a scent." Sasori rolls his eyes.

"Blondie isn't just any dog, she's got extreme sense of smell to make up for her bad hearing. She can tell a fresh scent from an old scent. And she can get a scent from just a few bits of hair," I chuckle.

"Suure, un."

"How do you think I tracked you?" I start following Blondie through the woods.

Deidara growls and says something I couldn't hear.

* * *

We come to Iwa, and it was getting late... Or early?

The sun was just barely coming up.

I yawn overly loud and utter a soft bark.

Deidara gives me this weirded out look.

Blondie begins to lead us to a good hotel that allowed dogs.

"Why're we here." Sasori deadpans.

"I'm sleepy." I get us a room and get the keys. "Got any problem with that?"

"Yes, actually I do."

I pull a piece of clay out my pouch and bite into it.

Sasori didn't notice, but Deidara sure did.

"Spit it out, un."

"Hm?" I play innocent.

He smacks the back of my head, hard enough to knock the clay out my mouth.

I catch it and glare at him.

I flop onto the single bed, which was annoying.

I can't believe this is the only room they had left.

"Hey guys, look! It's snowing!" I hop off the bed to look out the window.

"Don't care, un." I scoop some snow off the window sill and throw it at him.

Ok, maybe not my BEST idea.


	6. Chapter 6

I dive out the window, Deidara falling close behind.

"Yeah you better run, un!" He throws a crap load of snowballs at me.

I trip and fall into the snow, head first.

Deidara laughs and pulls me out, "Baka, hm."

I scoop up another pile of snow and throw it.

He dodges it, "Your snowballs suck, un."

"They do not!" I whine, making another one.

I throw it and hit hits him square in the face.

He glares.

Oh, so he can throw snowballs at me, but I can't throw any at him?

He pushes me into the snow and this time I manage to stop from going so deep.

I get up and throw more snowballs... That weren't in that much of a ball shape.

As of now, we're just throwing handfuls of snow at each other, actually laughing... Ya know, instead of trying to kill each other.

We run through out the village, throwing many many snow handfuls.

I scoop up a huge snow handfull and throw it at him.

"I winz!" I cheer. He was literally dripping with snow.

He gets that dangerous slash competetive look in his eye and gets an even bigger snowball.

"Ahhhhh!" I run for the hotel, with a giant snowball-holding-blonde behind me.

I just barely reach the door when the snow ball attacks me.

I pop my head out the big pile, "Evil! You cheat!"

He heads for the elevator, I quickly get out the snow pile to catch the elevator with him.

He looks me over, his face unreadable.

Then he grimaces and shakes his head no.

"What?" I question.

He just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"Fine then."

We step off the elevator looking like snow monsters.

We kinda started another snowball fight in the elevator.

This one was much more serious.

Once in the hotel room, I grab my pack and dash into the bathroom, Blondie following me.

I lock the door and strip down, hopping into the nice, warm shower.

* * *

"Get out the fucking shower, un!"

"Ok ok!" I snap. "Don't fucking rush me!"

I hop out the shower and start brushing out my hair, taking my time just to bug him.

After another 5 minutes...

"What the fuck are you doing in here, un!" The door swings open.

"I'm getting ready, for your information." I put my hands on my hips, temporarily forgetting my naked state.

Deidara turns fairly red and looks away.

I wrap a towel around myself and deciede to finish getting ready outside the bathroom.

"Sheesh, so damn impatient." I comment.

I stand in front of the mirror and finish doing my hair, forgetting all about the silent puppet.

"He's my best friend, best of all best friends! Do you have a best friend too? He tickles in my tummy, he is so yummy yummu! Hey you should get a best friend too!" I sing into my hair brush. "Hoo ha! Hoo ha! Nanananaanananananaa!"

I hear a click from behind me.

I turn around to see a fairly cute red head coming out of Sasori.

"OH MY GOD! SASORI ATE SOMEONE!" I shreik.

"You brat, I am Sasori." The red head rolls his eyes. "That's just a puppet."

"...Oh..." I mutter, embarresed."Hey wait, did you here that song just now?"

"Yep."

Great. Now I'm doubly embarresed.


	7. Chapter 7

I sit in front of the TV, hairbrush in hand.

"Sasori, can I please have some privacy?" I give him puppy dog eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" He questions.

"SOMETHING." I snap. "Just leave before Deidara gets back, I'm trying to have a moment!"

He gives me a confused look, but leaves the hotel room.

I switch on the TV to kareoke On Demand.

With a quick look around, I choose my song and start. "Boys call you sexy, and you don't care what they say, cause everytime you come around, they screaming your name." I sing happily. "Now I gotta confession! When I was young I wanted attention! I promised myself I do anything! Anything at all for him to notice me! Now I ain't complaining, you wanna be famous? So go ahead and say what you wanna say! I know what it's like to be nameless, cause see when I was younger I would sa-"

"What the hell are you doing, un." Deidara walks in.

"NOTHING!" I stomp out.

"Someones moody, un."

"I AM NOT!"

"Suuuure."

I throw a pillow at him, annoyed.

He simply catches it.

"I CALL THE BED(UN)." We scream at the same time. "WHAT? NO WAY! STOP THAT!"

"What's going on in here?" Sasori walks in.

"THE BED IS MINE(UN)," Me and Deidara dive onto the bed.

Sasori just watches our chicken fight on the bed.

For about 3 minutes.

"Just share the bed."

"No way!" I snap.

Deidara throws yet another spider bomb at my face.

"Argh! What the fuck do you put in these things? Glue?" I start trying to pick it off.

"That'd be pretty stupid, un." He chuckles. "Now get the fuck off the bed, un," He then growls.

"But I don't-"

He makes a handsign threateningly.

I glare, but get off the bed, picking off the spider at the same time.

"Hm, and that's how you show a girl whoes boss, danna." He scoffs.

"WHAT." I throw the spider back at him, smoke probably coming out my ears. "Oh I KNOW you didn't just say that!"

"Oh, but I did." He dodges the spider.

"Why you-grrr..." I stomp off to go sleep on the couch.

But Sasori beats me to it.

"SASO-"

"My couch, sleep on the floor, runt." He glares.

"Runt? A runt?" I mumble to myself, turning on my heel. "I'm not a runt, I'm taller than him..."

"What was that."

"Nuthin, Pinnochio." I just barely manage to dodge the senbon needle that zoomed past my face.

It gives a slight scratch.

"Oww..." I push on my cheek, just in case he was a dirty fighter.

Sure enough, some purple liquid pours out.

"What the hell, Sasori!"

He dosen't answer.

I grab both there cloaks and my pack, and create a make-shift bed in my own little corner.

I catch a snicker from across the room.

I throw a clay-bat the size of my hand at the blonde.

The look on his face is priceless!

Blondie barks in a doggy-laughter, along with my human-laughter.


	8. Chapter 8

I wake up in the morning sprawled awkwardly in the bed with Deidara.

Ya see, I'm not the type of person who sleeps on the floor, so I scooted him over and got in the bed.

I lay there, still feeling exaushted.

I start trying to get up, only to find my arm and foot stuck under blondy.

"Yo blondy, move!" I snap.

I'm guessing his way of telling me to shut up is rolling over on me.

I claw at the bed dresser, trying to pull myself out.

_**'Ah, look how cute you two look!'**_ Blondie teases.

"Oh shut up." I huff, tugging hard on the dresser.

I finally get free and dust myself off.

I start walking... And trip on the big ass safe RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

"Agh! You fucking safe, burn in hell!" I scream, holding my foot.

"Shut up, un!"

"Make me!"

"Maybe I will, un." He glares.

"Whatever." I stretch and yawn. "C'mon Blondie, let's finish up this mission." I hold up the tattered cloth the Blondie's nose, letting her catch the scent again.

We(me and my dog) walk through town, waving at people with a smile.

"NII-SAN!" Moku yells, jumping on my back.

"Oh, hey Moku! Ash, hey!" I greet my younger siblings.

"Your in troooouble." Moku teases. "Mom and dad found out about your disapearence!"

"Yeah, I didn't expect to be gone for so long." I admit. "Should I head home?"

"No need. We're already here." Dad walks up to us.

"Ohhhhh... Hey dad!" I awkwardly rub the back of my head.

"Don't hey dad me, where'd you go?"

"Just... Just on an adventure." They'd put me in parental-lockdown if I told them I was out for revenge.

We catch up for a bit, then head home.

Of course, things just couldn't go my way though.

"Hey runt, un!" Deidara says from behind me. "Where ya goin?"

"None yo bidness!" I whip around glaring.

Mom and Dad were in total shock, the kids just looked confused.

Blondie takes her spot on my head and yawns.

"And stop calling me a runt." I add.

"Why should I, _runt_ un?"

"Cause I fucking said so!"

"Make me!"

"Jus-Just leave! Your pissing me off!" I turn on my heel and start walking away.

"Oh no you don't, un." Deidara slings me over his shoulder and walks away.

"HEY! PUT ME DOWN YOU SON OF A-MMMF!"

He shoved a piece of dango in my mouth... Meany.

I kick my feet annoyed that he was just taking me away like that.

I land a good kick in his stomach and he drops me.

"Fucking runt! Why're you so annoying, un?"

"Cause I am!" I flip him off.

He throws a clay-bird at me, unneccisarily hard.

"Oww..." I start trying to pull it off, as always.

"Whoes he?" Moko clings to Deidara's leg. Ash does the same with his other leg.

"He's my stalker." I tease.

"More like the other way around, un."

"Un?" Moku questions.

"Put me down!" I snap.

"But then you'll run off, un."

...

"Your pretty smart for a blonde." I comment.

He poofs up a big clay-bird and throws me in the MOUTH of it.

"Son of a bitch." I grumble.


End file.
